Ever been upset about someone doing something for no apparent reason? This thing is hurtful to themselves but it really doesn’t effect you personally. The “thing” is also hurting (let’s call him Joe)’s family. It is evident in the relationships and how they seem to be strained and distant. It hurts to see that in Joe’s child. It is also hard to be around Joe because it feels like this “thing” is all that Joe wants to talk about. He tries to talk to me on facebook about it, tries to call me about it, worries how I feel about it. It is not my issue, it is his issue but it is almost like he wants to make it my issue. I guess “it” is hurting me, it is straining my friendship with him. I am glad he wants to be around me and wants to open up to me but I am sort of thinking: ENOUGH! Why can’t you stop this “thing”? Everyone needs to hit some bottom for these things, to decide that “I won’t have it any more and I am GOING to change it”. Joe must not have hit that bottom yet and I guess I almost think he should have hit bottom and come out of it. They say it is a disease and to some point, I can believe it but I guess I don’t believe it totally. Where is the forward thinking to change what looks like will happen in the future based on the decisions that have been made to this point? You can’t change the past but you need to deal with it and then move away from it so that the present is what is happening NOW and not trying to continuously “change” the past. When working on what is happening now, it helps to change the path of the future. Why doesn’t Joe see that?
I guess I am biased because I have had some experience with this “thing” and I have left it behind. If I can do it, I almost feel like it should be possible for Joe too. Sometimes, I think it might have been possible for my path to go in a different way if I made different choices. I had issues and I got away from them. Joe’s current life has the “look” of happiness so why does he want to destroy it with this “thing” when it can be left behind?