As I see it…

Posts tagged ‘realistic’

Hopefully pessimistic

Yes I know that is an oxymoron but that is sort of how I feel.  I am hoping that all that is going well with my life will continue BUT I have this underlying anxious fear that the “other shoe will drop” or it is a ploy of the universe to wave a carrot in front of me sort of saying “look at what you aren’t going to get”.  This is for everything, from my partner starting her job next week or time we have together. It could be that the committee I am involved in seems to be going well but then I’m afraid of the vote.  Would almost rather not vote than to have it go the wrong way.  I also have been doing well in choir, singing high notes and playing the bells with interesting rhythms and doing them correctly. I’m afraid that on the day we have to sing or play in front of the congregation that the high note is not right or I mess up the rhythm.  Things have been going wrong for so long that it is hard to think positively about things going right. Maybe this is just being realistic not pessimistic… I don’t like the feeling though…:(

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