This was the writing challenge from last week. I know it is late but I wrote it from my phone while riding in the car and I could not get the picture to upload correctly. So here we are…
When I read the challenge, it wasnt hard to come up with something to write about.
My mom passed away several years ago and afterwards i was given several of her possessions. Getting these items had its own overflow of emotions but this blanket wasn’t finished. She loved to do crafts and sew with her seemingly antique sewing machine. This was a crocheted afghan that she had marked up the pattern to make it how she wanted it to look. When i got this box of yarn and pattern and squares of the partially completed blanket, I put it in a box and put it in the basement.
I would discuss with D every once in a while that I would like to work on the blanket and I even bought a book on how to crochet so I could work on it. When I talked about it she said she would say she is going to get the box and then she would change the subject to something we needed to do that day.
For my birthday, about 3 yrs ago, a woman from our church came to our apartment and rang the doorbell. When I opened the door, she gave me this gift saying “happy birthday”. I was shocked, as she was a friendly person from church but not really someone I would consider a really good friend to exchange gifts at birthdays or holidays so I was confused. She said it was a gift really from D.
As I opened the gift, I could not stop the tears. It was my mom’s blanket, completed just the way my mom had created the pattern. Definitely, my most prized possession and a great way to remember my mom and it was definitely a great birthday gift.
Have you ever thought about what you would pick up if there was ever an evacuation or a fire in your home? I think I would pick this up, after of course, my family, animals and pictures!
There goes my little.. no wait BIG girl going by herself on the spinning teacups on the mall carousel…
Tonight is one of those nights I miss my mother more than others, not just because I am watching my own child but because I need a non-judgemental listenining ear…
Tonight, we went to see a house, it is a very old house that has pretty much every original appliance since it was built in the 1950’s but it had cute built in’s in just about every room to make up for it’s small square footage and a very big yard. There are big problems with it and it would need lots of work before moving in. D said she would love to make it work and we could definately afford it… BUT I don’t like it. My dad said he would help me with the down payment but not with this house.. I could not justify using his money to help us buy.
D is upset with me because I discounted it and said I would not do it.
So, there is more…we are actually waiting on a response on another house. We made an offer on another house that we really like and all the big ticket items have been taken care of, roof, heater, floors… have all been done. The problem is the bank already came back with a full price offer and we countered again and we already decided that if they don’t accept at this price, we will say no. The only problem? We will be struggling with the monthly payment even at our counter offer. We want the house and I know we will make it work but right now we are very stressed and sometimes I just get so upset missing my mom…sometimes I just need someone to vent to.
I need a person to just talk to, I need mom, my mom. Why did she have to leave me? I don’t have anyone to just call anytime to just cry to or to just talk about my day. My mom used to call me all the time. Then for some unknown reason, I decided I needed to find myself and asked her not to call for a while and then when I came back to my senses we spent a short time again re-getting to know each other… and then she left.
Now, I have a partner but when I just need to talk about stuff going on with my life, I don’t have anyone besides her. Most women have girlfriends they can call up and complain to… I don’t
Why did she have to leave? Why do I have no one to talk to? No one to listen…not try to fix…not feel obligated to do something…just listen?
Close your eyes. Count to ten. Then imagine a beautiful ancient castle (tastefully remodeled to include central heating, kick-ass wi-fi and WordPress.com ready laptops everywhere). Now walk down the endless main hall, a hall filled with amazing rooms of wonder. Go into the 2nd room on the right. What’s inside?
My mom waiting for me sitting there reading by her balcony with an ocean view with the glass doors open to feel the ocean spray and smell the ocean breeze and to gather all the warmth from the summer air.
She is in this room to tell me everything will be alright, that everything I am doing is for the right reasons and I am in the right place, right where God wants me to be in my life. She says that she misses me and wishes time didn’t go so fast when she was on this earth. She also reminds me to tell people you care about them every time you get the chance and not to worry about what other people think of you. They have their own issues and failed dreams in their life. They might be jealous of you in yours. Also, she tells me not to worry about Alex and about the things that are happening now, she is just going through growing pains and it is time for her to move to the next step in her life. She will be ok and will be a wonder to others around her.
Tears fill me as she speaks to me as I don’t live a day without missing my mother’s voice or advice. She tells me she is glad I am happy now and to cherish every moment and to not let anyone steal that away for a moment.
I don’t know where this came from, I must have been thinking about my mom tonight when I saw the blog post idea. I just closed my eyes and went to the castle and started writing, I didn’t know what was going to be there.
RIP mom, I love you, can’t wait to see you again.