When you feel uncomfortable, be honest about how you feel. Think about what will make you happy. Don’t worry about how you will get there or about the money. Money doesn’t buy happiness, ever. The Santa Fe doesn’t matter, it is only a car. Working from a home doesn’t matter, you aren’t making any money anyway and you have to ask to just get a coffee. The house? Not yours, won’t ever be and don’t get the money out of your 401k. You will never get it back and you won’t be forgiven for what happened for the money, even if you are made to think so. Money can’t buy people even friends, all the time. Don’t make the mistake and if it is too late, don’t hurt yourself to try to make it better, you are worth more than that no matter what you do.
It is hard to believe but in 10 years you will be married to a wonderful person and you will have a 5 year old child and will have a happy life. Yes, you will get to name her Alexandra and she will be beautiful and smart and quite the individual. No, you won’t have a lot of money and sometimes will struggle, but things are sometimes worth more when you struggle for them. I don’t know if you will have a house, that struggle will be one we both will have to wait to see.