As I see it…

Day 2- Merry Christmas

I really would rather give than receive. I got a really nice gift that is way too much money. I feel like I should bring it back but then that would make D feel bad. I love it, don’t get me wrong but I don’t need it. I have enough, I am blessed with my family and house and all that we have.
Merry Christmas and let’s try to remember the real reason for the season – Jesus’ birth!

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Christmas Eve 2012

This is my first post of the week in my challenge to post once a day for a week. Let’s see how that goes.

Christmas Eve and Christmas in general, you think of happy times and happy kids and presents and happiness… ok, happiness in general, or at least it should be. Today we have spent the day arguing with our 6 yr old

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and threatening more than once if not 3 times that we will call Santa and tell him not to come out our house this year.

We have gone visiting to our friends and her friends homes bringing chocolates and gifts and we just get attitude no matter what we do. We bought her a new dress and we get attitude as we leave the store, and when she tries it on, she insists on wearing her leggings that have a stain on them, which is why we buy her new tights.

We go to her friend’s house so she can exchange gifts with her friend and we get attitude when she has to clean up to leave.

We came home and got a snack and we get more attitude when we want to do Christmas crafts but they are not “her way”.

Well, Christmas eve will come and go and I suppose Santa will come anyway, even with all the attitude. We should teach her a lesson and leave all the presents downstairs until she freaks out in the morning. Well, I can’t do that.  I’m sure it will be a smashing success even though, it has not started out that way…

Merry christmas to all and to all a good night.

Flawed – Confidence

Daily Post: Flawed
by michelle w. on December 13, 2012
What is your worst quality?

I have not really been able to get into the daily posts either with time or inspiration of what to write. This one is fairly easy, my worst quality is my lack of self confidence and how I see myself. I think everyone is better than me and I treat them accordingly. I feel like I need to be validated at work, at home, on the street and with everything I do. I sometimes feel like it is amazing that I am able to do anything some days. When I do get that validation, I feel like that person must be talking to someone else. I look around to see who else they could be talking to besides me. I call this my worst quality because I probably could do so much more than I do now if I thought I actually could. I recently was thrown into being the chair person to a committee at work. I do really care about the topic and yesterday, there was a very important meeting that I attended and invited someone from an outside agency to consult with the group. I felt like I studdered and was unsure of my words and repeated things I had already said. I also had to provide a summary of the meeting to the executive sponsor of the group and he told me it was excellent and he has all the info he needs to bring to the executive meeting. He also said this was the most substantial thing that the committee has done since its inception 8 or 9 years ago. Was that really me? The previous chair stepped down because he didn’t feel supported by administration and then I just did a few (what I think are) minor things and I feel very supported.

Another way I feel supported at work is, the group I work with gave me a sign for my desk. “The Oracle”. That in and of itself should make me feel real good about myself, like I can do anything. Right? It’s funny because I always have to prove it, to myself.

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I sometimes don’t feel like I can do anything when I live paycheck to paycheck and although there is a reason (we had a pay a large bill or buying presents for friends and family for Christmas) for having little to no money in the bank, I still feel like a lot of nothing.

I even feel flawed in my writing. I just recently took a placer test to take a class at a local community college and it said my writing is not as good as I thought, and many others have said it was. I could make a lot of excuses for that. I didn’t understand the way the question was asked or they graded it incorrectly, but whatever it was, I feel quite flawed.  I sometimes don’t write in this blog because I don’t feel like it is good at all. I don’t get many comments so it must mean I am writing to myself, right?

I like these words to Pink’s song:

You’re so mean,
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.

perfect

If only…

Fall is here

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Fall is definitely here. I was worried when we got these trees from Walmart that they would not grow and thrive. We planted them before fall started and watered them faithfully and it rained and i did see little buds but you never know. Now I can say I’m not worried that this tree will not live a long full shade giving and oxygen producing life. We have been trying to work on the yard to help the ecosystem of the neighborhood when other neighbors are cutting down trees, we are trying to lessen our carbon footprint by planting and using a rain barrel. I really like our house and all the things we can do to make it our little piece of earth. Our little piece of mind…

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This was the writing challenge from last week. I know it is late but I wrote it from my phone while riding in the car and I could not get the picture to upload correctly. So here we are…

When I read the challenge, it wasnt hard to come up with something to write about.
My mom passed away several years ago and afterwards i was given several of her possessions. Getting these items had its own overflow of emotions but this blanket wasn’t finished. She loved to do crafts and sew with her seemingly antique sewing machine. This was a crocheted afghan that she had marked up the pattern to make it how she wanted it to look.  When i got this box of yarn and pattern and squares of the partially completed blanket, I put it in a box and put it in the basement.

I would discuss with D every once in a while that I would like to work on the blanket and I even bought a book on how to crochet so I could work on it. When I talked about it she said she would say she is going to get the box and then she would change the subject to something we needed to do that day.

For my birthday, about 3 yrs ago, a woman from our church came to our apartment and rang the doorbell. When I opened the door, she gave me this gift saying “happy birthday”. I was shocked, as she was a friendly person from church but not really someone I would consider a really good friend to exchange gifts at birthdays or holidays so I was confused. She said  it was a gift really from D.

As I opened the gift, I could not stop the tears. It was my mom’s blanket, completed just the way my mom had created the pattern. Definitely, my most prized possession and a great way to remember my mom and it was definitely a great birthday gift.

Have you ever thought about what you would pick up if there was ever an evacuation or a fire in your home?  I think I would pick this up, after of course, my family, animals and pictures!

Miss Trouble Maker

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This little girl looks harmless and sweet but that is far from the truth. Lily is my first “child” and she was given to us at 8 weeks but she seemed like she considered me her parent. She wants to get out the door but from the beginning she has been an indoor cat. She has gotten herself into enough trouble staying inside so she doesnt need to go out.
Lily is the ninja cat as she has been called as she crawled into a part of the ceiling above the fridge and would only come out to the smell of canned cat food.
She is definitely a window cat and she gets so “out-of-sorts” when she can’t get in the windows because they are closed or blocked by an air conditioner.
Lily is very territorial- the whole house is her territory and if she wants to lay on the table she pushes everything off and looks over the edge at it on the floor.
This cat just looks at the dog and he looks away with his tail between his legs. She is clearly the queen of the house. She just tolerates the rest of us but she will always accept a good petting!

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