As I see it…

Archive for the ‘LGBT’ Category

Happy Pride!!


Late photo phriday picture but tonight we, including our daughter, marched in the RI Pride parade with our work, Lifespan health care system. This bike was all decorated with colorful lights and rainbow flags. She did a great job in the parade and is always a hit!

Defining your own identity.

Post idea #346 – I know this was an idea from 2011 but I was trying to get some imput to the blog before I posted it, with no success so I am publishing and I will await YOUR input.

How do you define your own identity?

We are all born into cultures, families and communities with certain values we naturally inherit. But in order to figure out who we are, we have to revisit those inherited values, and decide for ourselves what to believe, or what to value. Simply believing something because our parents or teachers did assumes they were right, and if they made the same assumption about their parent’s and teachers, when exactly did someone sit down and consider the alternatives?

How can a person define their own identity? Is it good to do this? Why or why not?


I felt this topic needed to be written about because it is something that affects me and several people I know. 

I actually don’t think anyone has a choice about defining their identity.  It happens, it is just a question of how and when.

As you wrote above, some people take on their identity based on what they inherit from their parents or teachers by how they see, treat or present them.  Most of the time, it seems like a person’s conscious or internal identity matches, but occasionally (research has found about 10% of all people) don’t match with that identity that others have chosen for them as they might have been born genetically as male but their internal identity could be a  female (or vice versa), similarly, a person could identify as someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender. “Coming out” as the different identity can be as early as preschool or later after they have tried to live in the identity that was expected or chosen for them by marrying someone of the opposite gender and having kids and then finding out that they are not that identity.  No one can choose that for anyone else and it is not even chosen by the person who has that alternate identity to many people’s despair.  Having an alternate identity to the majority is not easy as it is not easily accepted by society, why would anyone want to make that choice if choosing was an option?

 How can a person define their own identity?  They need to live it, breathe and and come out not only to others but to themselves to live a happy and fulfilling life. So, of course it is good to do this.  I feel that if you don’t define it to yourself and the world, living this “lie” is a life of unfulfilled emptiness.

Surprising information

I went to a meeting tonight and found out some information that is very surprising…

I recently have become friends with this couple and we try to hang around people who are accepting of everyone as we want to be accepted being gay women with a child.  T of this couple is very accepting and an advocate for equality of all types and even joined a PFLAG meeting because he wanted to know more about people who are GLBT.  I asked him at one time who he knew so that he felt he wanted to go to this meeting and joined the group and I was so impressed with his answer “I go because I know the two of you”.  I certainly was not expecting to hear the surprising information I heard tonight…

Apparently, he was not always like that.  He would tell jokes about every color and orientation you could imagine and his wife told him she was quite embarrassed of him to hear him talk like he did.  He then heard about the group that J was a part of, the Open and Affirming committee, and when T met some of the people, things changed for him.

He realized that all people deserve to be respected no matter their race, ethnicity, hair color or sexual orientation.  Who says people can’t change??

It Gets Better…

  Have you heard of this? Run by the Trevor Project, it is a group that helps young people who are feeling like they are all alone, like they are the only person who is different, it seems like everyone is against them, hates them, only likes people who are just like them.  The bullies yell in their face, stalk them, make them feel unsafe and unworthy of being alive, all because they love someone of the same gender. 

What is that? What right do these bigoted bullies have to tell young people who are not “normal” ,according to some, that they don’t deserve the absolute best in life.  Everyone deserves to be able to love the person they want no matter their gender.  The time around these bullies, will not last.  It will get better… There are so many people out there who support you in this life, you don’t have to take what these kids say to heart.  The option that some think they have is taking their own life is more permanent than the bulling.  Report it, talk about it, scream, make a scene, don’t let them get away with it.  Tell your parents, friends, neighbors, teachers, a coach, pastor, someone who is willing to get involved and stop the madness! Your life will get better!

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