As I see it…

Archive for January, 2012

Common Sense – Why do some people not have it?

What is common sense? Well, it is sort of things you just know. How do you know them? Are you taught them? Well, some things that I think are common sense may not really be. Like Respect. Well I imagine that you would be taught that by your parents.

Ok so here is an official definition:

defined by Merriam-Webster as, “sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts.”

“the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that we all need to help us live in a reasonable and safe way”

So it is a judgement that we all inherently have… when? I guess if you think about it, certain things like “it is not safe to run with scissors” and “if you run into the road, you will get hit by a car” are things that most parents will teach you yet they feel like common sense. Maybe common sense is something you learn and it becomes common sense when you remember it.

If we look at the definition a little: Where does someone get this “sound judgement” they are speaking about?  Everyone must learn it somewhere.

Back to “Respect”: If you are at someone’ house for dinner, most dinner table manners are considered having respect but I would also call it common sense. I would also say asking to use the person’s phone or any other personal belongings would also be considered respect but you would need to learn those somewhere. Young kids are respectful sometimes just because they are shy because they are young.

You know what else is interesting is that when someone does not have common sense, it almost looks and feels like the person is not smart at all. It also gets other people aggravated when someone does not have it and at some point, teaching it feels forced on another person which is even more aggravating to both parties.

My conclusion to why some people do not have it is because they have not been taught it by their parent’s for one reason or another.  Is their parent void of such common sense due to mental illness? Did the person grow up without the main teacher (parent) in their home? Would someone who does not have common sense know it? How would they find out?

What does everyone think?

Bad Note from Teacher

Very sad day today.  A got her very first (I say first because I am not naive enough to think, this will be the only one) bad note from the teacher.

I opened an email from my child’s kindergarten teacher to find out that she has been making up stories and lying saying that she was told, by the teacher, she could go to the front of the line when that was not true. She also mentioned the hard time A has been having with sharing.  I see that at home also.  We disciplined her by not letting her watch TV for the rest of the night when that is her most favorite thing to do. I’m sure that isn’t enough but if it continues, there will be less and less TV.

I wondered what my parents used to do when I was found out for something I did. Well, I was the perfect child so I am a hard one to compare to.  In our days anyways, there was more wooden objects that disciplined rather than words and discussion with us. I decided a long time ago that there would be no physical discipline in our house.

We talked to her and she knows how much we love her and how important it is to be honest.  She seems to want to please us still so I am hoping that this bad behavior will end…. soon.

Defining your own identity.

Post idea #346 – I know this was an idea from 2011 but I was trying to get some imput to the blog before I posted it, with no success so I am publishing and I will await YOUR input.

How do you define your own identity?

We are all born into cultures, families and communities with certain values we naturally inherit. But in order to figure out who we are, we have to revisit those inherited values, and decide for ourselves what to believe, or what to value. Simply believing something because our parents or teachers did assumes they were right, and if they made the same assumption about their parent’s and teachers, when exactly did someone sit down and consider the alternatives?

How can a person define their own identity? Is it good to do this? Why or why not?

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I felt this topic needed to be written about because it is something that affects me and several people I know. 

I actually don’t think anyone has a choice about defining their identity.  It happens, it is just a question of how and when.

As you wrote above, some people take on their identity based on what they inherit from their parents or teachers by how they see, treat or present them.  Most of the time, it seems like a person’s conscious or internal identity matches, but occasionally (research has found about 10% of all people) don’t match with that identity that others have chosen for them as they might have been born genetically as male but their internal identity could be a  female (or vice versa), similarly, a person could identify as someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender. “Coming out” as the different identity can be as early as preschool or later after they have tried to live in the identity that was expected or chosen for them by marrying someone of the opposite gender and having kids and then finding out that they are not that identity.  No one can choose that for anyone else and it is not even chosen by the person who has that alternate identity to many people’s despair.  Having an alternate identity to the majority is not easy as it is not easily accepted by society, why would anyone want to make that choice if choosing was an option?

 How can a person define their own identity?  They need to live it, breathe and and come out not only to others but to themselves to live a happy and fulfilling life. So, of course it is good to do this.  I feel that if you don’t define it to yourself and the world, living this “lie” is a life of unfulfilled emptiness.

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