As I see it…

Archive for January, 2011

Is she going on 5 or 25??

My daughter is getting so big.  Tonight, she came with me to a friend’s house and she fell down the bottom two stairs because the railing was broken.  She cried but she was fine, she was more scared than anything else.  I picked her up and we left shortly afterwards. 

Then when I was putting her in bed, I said “Sorry you fell down the stairs tonight, I didn’t now the railing was broken and I was behind you and could not keep you from falling.”  She said to me.  “Mommy, it is not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong, it was the house’s fault.  I love you.”

OMG!  She is sounding so big sometimes!  She is turning 5 on May 1st but she sounds more like a grown up when she talks like this.  She is so amazing!  I love that BIG GIRL!

This picture is from the summer but it is a very grown up look, I thought would fit this post… 🙂

Enough snow already

We are in the what? hundredth day of snow?  What is up with that?  We never had this much snow ever.  I can remember some winters like this in Maine when there was just snow storm after snow storm and what was good about it was we got numerous days off of school growing up in Maine.  I remember when I went to college in Massachusetts, I was excited to see the small amount of snow in Mass that I was determined to move to the area after college.  NOW, this is JUST like I remember in Maine.  The switch is not fair.  I wonder if this means we will have a real hot summer or a real cool summer.  I will not complain about the heat in summer, I will not complain about the heat in summer…. ad nauseam.  I actually can’t say it is all that cold, it has to warm up some to even snow at all.  It was below zero several days ago and there was no precipitation then.  What is going on God?  I’m not liking this.

***I know I already wrote about snow but we seriously have been getting way too much of it!  Sorry for the repitition…I didn’t want to really write today because I have been so aggravated by said snow… will have to shovel out yet again…

Friends… part way to stalker…

How do you DEFINE a friend? That is difficult because it is different for everyone. This is a great blog topic because they could all be so much different.  There is no real definintion for a friend.  Well, that being said, I looked it up in the Webster’s dictionary, you can see the definition below my blog.

Is a friend the woman who works at the next desk at work from you?  Is a friend an occasional text on a lazy saturday?  How do YOU define a friend?  A friend has some similarities with you and has some willingness to learn more about you and your life.  Is interested in what you have to say about you but shares about their life as well.  A friend does things for you even when you don’t ask for them.  A friend remembers birthdays, anniversaries and other special events with a card or a phone call. As per my title, a friend is part way to stalker but a more welcome one, hopefully.  I only say that because it is someone who is always there or on the phone, calling you, but with a friend, you are also calling them.  This person is ready and willing to be your shoulder to cry on or your listening ear.  A friend also supports you in which ever life events you are working on or dreaming up for that matter.

Also, a friend is someone who stands up for the truth and for what is right and if those pants really don’t look good on you, a friend is the one to tell you!  A friend would not let you hurt yourself by letting you drive drunk or let you get involved with that loser (at least not without something to say about it!) A friend cries with you, laughs WITH you but sticks up for you when others laugh AT you. A friend may drive long distances for you or travel to see you from across the country. 

A friend is all of the above and more! (or less if THAT is your definition)

Webster’s Dictionary Definition of FRIEND:

a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : acquaintance
a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
: a favored companion
capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker

It Gets Better…

  Have you heard of this? Run by the Trevor Project, it is a group that helps young people who are feeling like they are all alone, like they are the only person who is different, it seems like everyone is against them, hates them, only likes people who are just like them.  The bullies yell in their face, stalk them, make them feel unsafe and unworthy of being alive, all because they love someone of the same gender. 

What is that? What right do these bigoted bullies have to tell young people who are not “normal” ,according to some, that they don’t deserve the absolute best in life.  Everyone deserves to be able to love the person they want no matter their gender.  The time around these bullies, will not last.  It will get better… There are so many people out there who support you in this life, you don’t have to take what these kids say to heart.  The option that some think they have is taking their own life is more permanent than the bulling.  Report it, talk about it, scream, make a scene, don’t let them get away with it.  Tell your parents, friends, neighbors, teachers, a coach, pastor, someone who is willing to get involved and stop the madness! Your life will get better!

What gives you hope?

When I saw this topic, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do with it, so here goes: (I believe in God, and please know I don’t mean to offend anyone who does not.  If you don’t, think of it as your higher power, buddha or whomever you believe in)

What gives you hope? Love, love can give you hope, love specifically to you, love from God.  When things are going right around you. When you smile more than you frown.  When others do good things around you. Hope is a difficult thing to define.  It is like a feeling but more than a feeling, it is beautiful, it is a child’s innocence and unconditional love. It is a rainbow after a terrible rain storm. It is not something tangible, not something you can touch but you know when it is there. The breeze on a hot summer day, hope is an understanding that God is listening to your prayers. Hearing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it gets better. It is something that keeps us going.

 And what, if anything, makes you question hope? It is the total opposite of what gives you hope.  It is a rain storm that lasts and lasts, it is violence and anger and pain.  It is a time when everything seems to be going wrong.  When you feel isolated and depressed, you feel like God is absent.  It is like a dark cloud over your head that you can’t get rid of. It is nasty, and discusting and a place you don’t want to be. Nothing is going right in your life, you can’t relax or sleep or smile. Despair…

And what makes you question your questions of hope? God showing you something so beautiful that your hope comes back.  THAT makes you question your questions (or your doubt) of hope!


Interesting word.  It means so different as we grow up.  When you are little, you don’t even acknowledge other kids your age, then you play next to each other but not together, then you play together but it is like a love-hate relationship.  You want to play but you want the other child to be somewhat of a puppet and not play with anything you want to play with in the next minute or half hour. As we get older, friends help us make it through high school and the cruelty. 

 Then as we grow older still, we look to others who have gone through similar things to vent, cry, laugh and commiserate with.  No other relationship is more important, more worthwhile, more cleansing, more freeing than friendship.  I know what you are thinking, you might be thinking that your spouse or partner should be all those things… well isn’t that what your spouse or partner is? Your best friend?

2 for 1: Why did I start blogging and How long does it take me to blog?

Maybe some will consider this cheating but I saw two post ideas and I decided to combine them in one blog…

I started blogging because I sometimes just need to write.  I don’t know if it is journaling or like in a diary or just what it is. Writing to me is a  help for my mental health, get things off my chest, a creative outlet, someth

ing to show off my writing skills…  I used to write in journals and then when someone found them, things were used against me, but now writing is on my terms and yes others will see it but it is under my control.  I used to also write and was published in both the Boston Girl Guide and Options Newsmagazine

 Each was a different part of my life and I can totally see how my life  has changed between each writing period. (Click on the links to check them out) One was a creative writing and the other was more like journalism. 

When I write now, it is more personal because I again am in a different point in my life.  I have a writing journal but I have not been able to write in it.  I had great intentions when I bought it (doesn’t it always happen that way?), to sort of chronicle things that happened with our daughter and how she has been growing.  (of course, now I think I should do that on here…intentions…)  I like to think about different topics and think about what I would write about them.  It is like a hobby, something I like to do and a nice way to spend some time for myself.

How long does it take me to blog?  That ALL depends on the topic.  If I need to think about the topic, if there are distractions (like the tv is on or my daughter is wanting me for something), if there is research I need to do.  Sometimes, it takes me a while to find a good picture to add.  This one is a quick one, ok, not so quick now, lunch got in the way and I took longer than I thought today. Today, right now, it has been an hour and I think that is a good estimate of how long it takes on a normal day.  I think there are times when it might take a shorter time and if there is just a statement I want to say, I will try to just post it on facebook or twitter instead of just writing a one sentence statement on a blog. A statement could turn into a whole blog if you write about what the statement means to you or what you think of it or if it has effected me.  See you next time…

Snow, Snow, Snow… Oh My!

For those of you who are not around snow much…I’m jealous!  Not really and I will get to that at the end… Well anyway, we got a lot of it overnight and I think it is still snowing.  The snow is so heavy that the trees in our yard are drooping and one fell and broke our daughter’s slide.  It is so sad.  Good thing, her swings are the part of the swingset that is more important to her.  This is a picture of our yard with all the snow.  Rhode Island and Massachusetts stopped short of declaring a state of emergency.  Pretty much every school and business closed, stranded motorists, accidents, problems with getting out of driveways, and yet people were expected to go to work.  Interesting…

We have gotten 12″ and it is still snowing now.  It was supposed to stop by 2pm.  It is 3:30 now.  We went down the street dragging Alex in a sled, she wanted to stay out all day but my fingers were frozen in my gloves that were supposed to work to temps way below zero (maybe I should take them back), so I went inside to make warm lunch and hot cocoa and coffee.  Much better inside than outside…

Ok, I guess this can be in response to the post idea of “How do you keep yourself entertained in snow?”  We shovel, spend time together, do crafts, take naps, knitting. We have to watch Ellen though, for certain! I am so glad that we were not without power all day though, that would have been a very bad thing… lots of things we could not have done today, especially with a nearly 5 yo child.  When we woke up the power was out and we snuggled for a little while and that lasted only so long with Alex.  We got up and ate cereal for breakfast and went into the fridge VERY quickly to get the milk so that everything would not get warm or spoil. 

How do we deal with it? We just take it as it comes and I have to say it is the best of all the weather evils.  I would rather the snow and cold over tornados, hurricanes and earthquakes… THAT is why I stay here – and I have asked that question nearly every winter.

Mental Illness

Don’t click off the blog  just because of the title, I know it is not a popular topic that anyone wants to read about but I’m sure many people know someone one who has a mental illness of some kind as the statistics are 1:4! Yeah, yeah, it is a hard topic to deal with or think about but it is reality.  I have a friend who recently went into a mental hospital and I went to visit her but it was a strange feeling being in there.  Maybe it was because they are people just like anyone else I know who just happen to have a problem that they need to be in the hospital for.  I guess it could be the same type of thing to go visit a friend or family member in a hospital for a physical injury, right?  Yeah there are some definite differences.

I felt I needed to write about this tonight since it has been what is on my mind lately.  In some ways, I can’t understand the thought process but in other ways, I can.  Times are rough and things happen that are very stressful and there needs to be a way out of the pressure and the pain and the hurt inside.  Makes me wonder if there is a different gene in people with mental illness than people who don’t?  Is it a disconnect between the emotional part of the brain and the reasoning part of the brain?  Do all the medications for depression really work?  When are you considered cured of a mental illness?  Are you EVER cured? I don’t know how long my friend has been depressed but I do know she has been in and out of the hospital more than once.  How do you get past that?  Is there ever something big enough, happy enough that can help someone get out of the feelings and thoughts that a traumatic event might have caused? OR is mental illness something that is already there and then an event just brings it out?

I have another friend who works at Peacelove studios, a company that is working to get rid of the stigma that mental illness has.  The person who started it has a mental illness and he decided that the best way to work though issues was to create art.  He then started PeaceLove studios.  I have gotten to know what they are all about and it is amazing how they are helping people all over the country starting in the small city of Pawtucket, RI.  My friend, Amy works long hours for her passion of art and teaching others to bring out their creative side, whether they have mental illness or they are an advocate of others who do.  If you are interested in learning more, click on the heart logo and it should (if I did it right) bring you to the website for PeaceLove and you can see the gallery of work that people have completed at the studio.  There is also a few videos that give you even better information.  Ok, I know I am sounding like a commercial, but this has been on my mind lately and just wanted to pass on some interesting information. 

Blogging Buddies

I think wordpress has really done a great thing to get people to blog more often… To ask others who are blogging to be your blog buddy.  I saw they were doing this cool challenge to blog once a day or week.  I decided to go for the post a week challenge to see how I did.  I am a very new blogger and I never thought anyone would be part of my blog.  I used to write a whole lot more in diaries several years ago and then my personal writings were used against me so I decided not writing would be a better idea than to be used. 

I write just about thoughts I have during the day or observations, things that happen to me or others in my personal life or work life.  There really is alot to say I have found.

Anyway, I am afraid most times I blog to push that publish button.  AND often I end up editing it because of how I perceive it looks to others.  I am always thinking of what everyone else thinks in everything I do.  Blogging, working, my personal life, how I eat, where I stand, what ever I do, I wonder how that guy or girl over there thinks of me…

Sooo, what do you think? Do you want to be my blogging buddy?

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