As I see it…


I wrote for the 7 days in the challenge because I said I would do that. After that, I sort of turned off any creativity to write. I am doing another “resolution”. 365 miles in 365 days and while I know I am only on day 4 in this resolution, I have been doing it. I am saying this outloud to the WordPress community because I am afraid I am going to just quit, like many things that I start. I go for a little while and then I find something more important or exciting or I just get too busy and then I stop. I guess I need some accountability not only by the people in my house. I didn’t go very long with the blogging last year, I’m not going to promise anything for this year, I’m going to try to write as often as possible.

Day 8: 2013 the beginning

Ok, so this was supposed to be sent yesterday, but… I am changing it so it can be sent today…
It is the start of the new year and we lose 2012 but gain a new year with new experiences to come, good and bad. Thinking about the year, we all got a little older and maybe a little wiser. The country has come a long way in equality from re electing the first African American president to several states voting in same sex marriage equality. The country is even hearing cases that go against DOMA. It may mean same sex marriages could become legal federally which will save those families money. Then again, Who knows what will happen with taxes.
So for me, what changed? I really don’t think much did. We spent the first year in our house and we lived through A graduating kindergarten and getting into first grade. We went through the hottest July on record here and spent most of it in the pool! Work is the same, always lots of drama with staff positions and personalities but that is the same as usual. I still have not been able to move my position up as my supervisor has tried to do for years. We were named after a real rich board member of the company and then just a couple weeks later, budget cuts almost cost the loss of our child life extroidonairre.
We are going back to eating more healthy and tracking our food and exercise on “myfitnesspal” and we are part of a challenge to walker run a mile a day for everyday this year. I’m hoping we can keep it up. I want to show A just how healthy we can be as a family. We went to the mall today and walked around each level and walked at least a mile.
I am hoping to get A to spend less time in front of the tv. Lets see how that works

We try our best to raise our child to be grateful and polite and try to do things with her to make her a happy child. Maybe we give her too much. ? We took her to Disney on Ice tonight and she said she was mad at us because we wouldn’t buy her a souvenir that was way too expensive. We tried to explain to her that money doesn’t grow on trees… She seemed to ignore us and then later apologized for having an attitude in the car.
Later, when I put her to bed she was sweet and we talked about the show again…
Other times, she sings little songs “you are the best mommy in the world”, and she writes me notes to bring to work that say “I love you”. She is a wonderful child and maybe being grateful is a learned trait that doesn’t “grow on trees”.
Maybe if we work on it with her, she will become a truly grateful child.

I guess I answered my own question…

Day 6: Yes, it does!

Sometimes the truth hurts. The question was asked and I didn’t want to answer. I almost wanted it to be just “known” so I would not have to answer.
So instead of answering, I asked how the questioner would answer and it was just the answer I didn’t want to speak.

Day5 – complainers

Have you ever worked with someone who complains constantly? About just about everything? It seems like this person just lives to complain. It isn’t that she has a miserable life but she just likes to complain. Yes, I mistakenly put that this person is a she. I think that is because complainers seem to most always be women. Do you agree? Do you feel like it effects your job? I think it does effect everyone, either consciously or unconsciously. In my experience, being around complainers do one of two things, either 1. They make you complain more. I don’t know how it happens, maybe it is contagious, sort of like a yawn, but it makes you more conscious of things around you to complain about. Or 2. It makes you miserable to be around all that negativity. I find myself wanting to stay away from these people. I am sometimes more happy when these people don’t show up at functions so I don’t have to listen to all the complaining.
I think that another thing that it causes which I guess is 3. Is that I feel like I am trying to fix things that just can’t be fixed and that is because Miss Complainer just would rather complain than fix the problem…

Day 4 – feels the same

It is a few days after Christmas and it doesn’t feel any different except for extra bills and clutter and more clutter and more to do like clean up the clutter.
Ok, I guess it is a little different, A is older and wiser and she got some big girl stuff.

Day 3- Christmas is over

The day after Christmas. It always seems like a downer of a day. For at least the last two months, we have all been planning for and buying for and talking about it and then what seems like the blink of an eye, it is over. The surprises have been broken, the presents have been opened, the food has been eaten, the family has been seen. Now, especially when Christmas is in the middle of the week, life goes back to normal, we go back to getting up early and going back to work. Well, for us, tomorrow is when that starts because today we are driving back home after visiting said family. What will we do now with what we got? Will we try to lessen the clutter from before Christmas so we can find a spot for the new items we got for Christmas? Will we work on cultivating friendships that we caught up with during this season or will it go back to the status quo?
What about 2013? Will we make resolutions for the new year that we are sure to not keep? We made it through the end of the mayan calendar so we should make a change… What should change in my life? How do I make that change into a habit? Something to think about.

Day 2- Merry Christmas

I really would rather give than receive. I got a really nice gift that is way too much money. I feel like I should bring it back but then that would make D feel bad. I love it, don’t get me wrong but I don’t need it. I have enough, I am blessed with my family and house and all that we have.
Merry Christmas and let’s try to remember the real reason for the season – Jesus’ birth!

Christmas Eve 2012

This is my first post of the week in my challenge to post once a day for a week. Let’s see how that goes.

Christmas Eve and Christmas in general, you think of happy times and happy kids and presents and happiness… ok, happiness in general, or at least it should be. Today we have spent the day arguing with our 6 yr old


and threatening more than once if not 3 times that we will call Santa and tell him not to come out our house this year.

We have gone visiting to our friends and her friends homes bringing chocolates and gifts and we just get attitude no matter what we do. We bought her a new dress and we get attitude as we leave the store, and when she tries it on, she insists on wearing her leggings that have a stain on them, which is why we buy her new tights.

We go to her friend’s house so she can exchange gifts with her friend and we get attitude when she has to clean up to leave.

We came home and got a snack and we get more attitude when we want to do Christmas crafts but they are not “her way”.

Well, Christmas eve will come and go and I suppose Santa will come anyway, even with all the attitude. We should teach her a lesson and leave all the presents downstairs until she freaks out in the morning. Well, I can’t do that.  I’m sure it will be a smashing success even though, it has not started out that way…

Merry christmas to all and to all a good night.

Flawed – Confidence

Daily Post: Flawed
by michelle w. on December 13, 2012
What is your worst quality?

I have not really been able to get into the daily posts either with time or inspiration of what to write. This one is fairly easy, my worst quality is my lack of self confidence and how I see myself. I think everyone is better than me and I treat them accordingly. I feel like I need to be validated at work, at home, on the street and with everything I do. I sometimes feel like it is amazing that I am able to do anything some days. When I do get that validation, I feel like that person must be talking to someone else. I look around to see who else they could be talking to besides me. I call this my worst quality because I probably could do so much more than I do now if I thought I actually could. I recently was thrown into being the chair person to a committee at work. I do really care about the topic and yesterday, there was a very important meeting that I attended and invited someone from an outside agency to consult with the group. I felt like I studdered and was unsure of my words and repeated things I had already said. I also had to provide a summary of the meeting to the executive sponsor of the group and he told me it was excellent and he has all the info he needs to bring to the executive meeting. He also said this was the most substantial thing that the committee has done since its inception 8 or 9 years ago. Was that really me? The previous chair stepped down because he didn’t feel supported by administration and then I just did a few (what I think are) minor things and I feel very supported.

Another way I feel supported at work is, the group I work with gave me a sign for my desk. “The Oracle”. That in and of itself should make me feel real good about myself, like I can do anything. Right? It’s funny because I always have to prove it, to myself.


I sometimes don’t feel like I can do anything when I live paycheck to paycheck and although there is a reason (we had a pay a large bill or buying presents for friends and family for Christmas) for having little to no money in the bank, I still feel like a lot of nothing.

I even feel flawed in my writing. I just recently took a placer test to take a class at a local community college and it said my writing is not as good as I thought, and many others have said it was. I could make a lot of excuses for that. I didn’t understand the way the question was asked or they graded it incorrectly, but whatever it was, I feel quite flawed.  I sometimes don’t write in this blog because I don’t feel like it is good at all. I don’t get many comments so it must mean I am writing to myself, right?

I like these words to Pink’s song:

You’re so mean,
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.


If only…

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