Photo phriday

Summer… This was supposed to post yesterday for the “summer” photo idea… Let’s try again.

Summer is about pools and swimming and relaxing and fun with friends and family.

The artist

Ok, so I am taking after D when I didn’t read about Pages on WordPress before I created one.  (she never reads directions, always just tries to do things on her own.) I thought when you create a page, you post things on that page. I thought I actually read that from the woman on wordpress when I was reading Blogging 101 – Part 1.  I must not have been paying attention because she was actually talking about created a new Category instead – which you can learn about Here.

Moral of the story?  Read the directions completely before trying to do it.

Now that I told you the background of this photo… This is my A in her artist smock, getting ready to work on the banner with her Girl Scout troop that they will be holding while they march in the parade for Memorial Day.

It’s just a job

I need to find something better to write about than my job. It’s just a job afterall. I think about it all the time because it is what I spend most of my day doing. I actually just sort of fell into this position from a temp agency.  It was not my plan or my great desire to work in this department but it is how it happened and I made it my own, grew the position to a point where I should have a better title and a better pay for what I do.  I recently just found out that HR will not change the position, or move it up, to where it belongs.  It is clear that to the institution, it is just a job.  It is not about encouraging people to do their best or to grow with a position or to do more than what is required. They don’t care. I know that is harsh but it is true, they don’t care that someone puts their heart and soul into something every day they are here.  When you do something in your “job”, most people expect to at least be compensated for it. When you go above and beyond, it is nice to at least be thanked with more.  After you do above and beyond, continually to a point where it is sort of an expected part of your job, then it is sort of expected for you to get even more, right? 

Well, when you are a little person, in a little position, that doesn’t happen, at least not in the BIG institutions who only care about money and each person is considered a number or just the postion they fill, not what they have done for that position.

I have decided that I am not going to try to move the position any longer. A quote I heard from someone regarding this: “It is easier to deal with the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.”  It is like: “The grass is never greener on the other side.”  I have decided I will focus more on doing things outside of work than to push myself at work. I might take a class or do something else with my daughter.  I don’t know if this will help my satisfaction at work to be able to think about outside things but I certainly will try. 

It is just a job afterall.

 

 

Firsts

First times are interesting. You never know what to expect. This weekend is lots of firsts for A. She met her grandpa on this side of the family as well as 11 more cousins she didn’t believe she had. It has been good for the most part as some of the cousins are a little more aggressive than others. They rough house a lot more than her and she gets emotional. She gets along well with grandpa and she likes the little cousins that she can watch over. She went to the beach with D without me because my headache wouldn’t give up. I walked with the dog. It is hotter in florida than I think especially when you walk around these huge residential blocks. We are going to A’s cousin’s house for dinner and I hope the headache breaks by then or it will just get worse.:)

Just be thankful you have a job…

I  hate this saying more than any right now. I understand it and I know that we should all be thankful for the job we have. In that being Thankful, it is implied, by the one who is saying this, that there should be no complaints about things we need to do that may or may not be our job or the lack of responsibility on the part of others.

That is a load of crap!

Trying to move up or get more is frowned upon to the point where someone will say this saying to you. At least in this place.

Thankful to them also means to “just take it” when you are doing your best and yet raises have been frozen or the match on your 401k is eliminated, but we are supposed to just be thankful we have a job and be happy about it? What happened to making your employees happy so they are happy in their position and want to work hard and have good morale?  These things alone create job satisfaction which create better responsibility and better health.

 

Common Sense – Why do some people not have it?

What is common sense? Well, it is sort of things you just know. How do you know them? Are you taught them? Well, some things that I think are common sense may not really be. Like Respect. Well I imagine that you would be taught that by your parents.

Ok so here is an official definition:

defined by Merriam-Webster as, “sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts.”

“the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that we all need to help us live in a reasonable and safe way”

So it is a judgement that we all inherently have… when? I guess if you think about it, certain things like “it is not safe to run with scissors” and “if you run into the road, you will get hit by a car” are things that most parents will teach you yet they feel like common sense. Maybe common sense is something you learn and it becomes common sense when you remember it.

If we look at the definition a little: Where does someone get this “sound judgement” they are speaking about?  Everyone must learn it somewhere.

Back to “Respect”: If you are at someone’ house for dinner, most dinner table manners are considered having respect but I would also call it common sense. I would also say asking to use the person’s phone or any other personal belongings would also be considered respect but you would need to learn those somewhere. Young kids are respectful sometimes just because they are shy because they are young.

You know what else is interesting is that when someone does not have common sense, it almost looks and feels like the person is not smart at all. It also gets other people aggravated when someone does not have it and at some point, teaching it feels forced on another person which is even more aggravating to both parties.

My conclusion to why some people do not have it is because they have not been taught it by their parent’s for one reason or another.  Is their parent void of such common sense due to mental illness? Did the person grow up without the main teacher (parent) in their home? Would someone who does not have common sense know it? How would they find out?

What does everyone think?

Bad Note from Teacher

Very sad day today.  A got her very first (I say first because I am not naive enough to think, this will be the only one) bad note from the teacher.

I opened an email from my child’s kindergarten teacher to find out that she has been making up stories and lying saying that she was told, by the teacher, she could go to the front of the line when that was not true. She also mentioned the hard time A has been having with sharing.  I see that at home also.  We disciplined her by not letting her watch TV for the rest of the night when that is her most favorite thing to do. I’m sure that isn’t enough but if it continues, there will be less and less TV.

I wondered what my parents used to do when I was found out for something I did. Well, I was the perfect child so I am a hard one to compare to.  In our days anyways, there was more wooden objects that disciplined rather than words and discussion with us. I decided a long time ago that there would be no physical discipline in our house.

We talked to her and she knows how much we love her and how important it is to be honest.  She seems to want to please us still so I am hoping that this bad behavior will end…. soon.

Defining your own identity.

Post idea #346 – I know this was an idea from 2011 but I was trying to get some imput to the blog before I posted it, with no success so I am publishing and I will await YOUR input.

How do you define your own identity?

We are all born into cultures, families and communities with certain values we naturally inherit. But in order to figure out who we are, we have to revisit those inherited values, and decide for ourselves what to believe, or what to value. Simply believing something because our parents or teachers did assumes they were right, and if they made the same assumption about their parent’s and teachers, when exactly did someone sit down and consider the alternatives?

How can a person define their own identity? Is it good to do this? Why or why not?

____________________________________

I felt this topic needed to be written about because it is something that affects me and several people I know. 

I actually don’t think anyone has a choice about defining their identity.  It happens, it is just a question of how and when.

As you wrote above, some people take on their identity based on what they inherit from their parents or teachers by how they see, treat or present them.  Most of the time, it seems like a person’s conscious or internal identity matches, but occasionally (research has found about 10% of all people) don’t match with that identity that others have chosen for them as they might have been born genetically as male but their internal identity could be a  female (or vice versa), similarly, a person could identify as someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender. “Coming out” as the different identity can be as early as preschool or later after they have tried to live in the identity that was expected or chosen for them by marrying someone of the opposite gender and having kids and then finding out that they are not that identity.  No one can choose that for anyone else and it is not even chosen by the person who has that alternate identity to many people’s despair.  Having an alternate identity to the majority is not easy as it is not easily accepted by society, why would anyone want to make that choice if choosing was an option?

 How can a person define their own identity?  They need to live it, breathe and and come out not only to others but to themselves to live a happy and fulfilling life. So, of course it is good to do this.  I feel that if you don’t define it to yourself and the world, living this “lie” is a life of unfulfilled emptiness.

Heart pounding

Sitting in DD parking lot awaiting final walk through of house we are going to buy. Heart is pounding, fingers shaking. Never did this before. Buying a house has been the most stressful event in a long time. Moving is stressful enough but along with a huge purchase… Even worse. I’m older and several of my siblings bought a house already. Yes money was the reason I was unable to… That’s another story, but for today, it is happening to me. It is a warm end of September day, thermometer across street says 78 degrees.

It was a business decision(?)

It’s amazing how people can stab you in the back all the while they are saying they are trying to be your friend and ally.

There was a past post I wrote about someone who bumped into a position that works right next to me due to union rules.  The person who was bumped out did a wonderful job and we were, and still are, quite upset that she had to move. Now, this person, who bumped in, is looking to move to another job and I was told had an interview already.  Next week, she is supposed to have a second interview.  My boss discussed this with me because the day she is having the interview is on a clinic day.  Now my job and her job used to be one job and then they added patient registration and separated the jobs. My boss wanted to be sure that I was going to be at work that day so she told me of M’s plans.  Apparently, after M found out I knew she went to her supervisor and told her that my boss told me which created a large mess between the two supervisors.  I guess that was “confidential” information.  How was she supposed to know that?  Also, the politics and rules in this place are just so off. 

Why would she even say anything to her supervisor?  I’m sure she knew that it would cause a load of problems.  Now I am supposed to work with this person while she is getting ready to leave.  I am bitter to say the least.  My supervisor told me I should have never said I knew and now I need to pretend nothing happened? 

Before M told her supervisor she said to me that her bumping into this position was a “business decision”.  Was telling her supervisor and causing trouble also a “business decision”?  What could that possibly do for her except make her work life even more stressful?  Or at least everyone around her…

Ok she wants out. We all want her out too.  I was going to let it all go and just see how things go but now, I will only talk to her when it has something to do with work and when she talks to me, I will be walking out of the room, at least in my head.  

I hate this part about me. I hold grudges. I wish I was more forgiving and able to let things go.  Saying it out loud, or at least on paper makes me worried.  You know what they say about speaking something or praying about it?  The universe gives you more opportunities to practice the skill you are hoping for.  I really just want it to go away!